Neu! Post Truth Poetics DAY NINETEEN – The Trump Parodies

The alt-Trump Family
Peter Raynard

They’re creepy and they’re pukey
The old man grabs the pussy
More crooked than a bookie
The alt-Trump Family

Their house is a gold tower
Don likes a golden shower
The Ruskies hold the power
The alt-Trump Family

So get a fucking move on
Write poems that will rage on
A shit storm we can reign on
The alt-Trump Family

 

The Trump and the Pussycat
by Andy Piasecki

The Trump and the Pussycat danced with glee
At the beautiful swing state vote
He said hey honey I’m not short of money
I’ll buy you a new fur coat
The Trump looked up to the stars above and
Sang to a small guitar
O lovely Pussy, o Pussy my love
What a beautiful Pussy you are
Farage
Farage
What a beautiful Pussy you are

Dear Trump, said the Pussy, your love is requited,
How charmingly sweet you tweet
O let’s be united, get the Clintons indicted,
But what shall we eat for a treat?
They sailed away for a year and a day
To the land where the Wonga tree grows
And there in a wood
Boris Johnson stood
with some snot on the end of his nose,
His nose
His nose
With some snot on the end of his nose.

Dear Pig are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your snot, said the Boris, I will.
So they took it away and cooked it up the next day
for a feast at Capitol Hill.
They dined on the snot and things quite hot
which they ate with pieces of nan
And hand in hand in white man’s land
They danced to the tune of the Klan,
The Klan
The Klan
They danced to the tune of the Klan

 

Humpty Dumpty Blues
by John Quinn

“‘When I use a word’ Humpty Dumpty said ‘it means just what I choose it to mean'”
(Alice Through the Looking Glass)

Word boardin word boardin long haul and short haul
rendition flights of meanin gleanin in and leanin on
buildin walls inaugural balls clarion calls,
from humpty numpty trumpty and dumpty
makin third words and turd words like
hard brexit breakfasts’ hard poverty porn.
Don’t need no OED to check out the new speak.

Word boardin word boardin long haul and short haul
misquotes rigged votes anti- social media bleedin  ya
accidental premiers lookin for le pen friends
misfirin missives on missiles from
Cruella tarantellas with the market malarkey an
fake news fake sheikhs you views and pew views.
Don’t need no OED to check out the new speak.

Word boardin word boardin long haul and short haul
hate crime date crime thought crime and nae crime
war on drugs war on terror war on error war on the poor
moot points mute points hecklers and experts
on reality on tele textin sextin and exitin
by particles of articles on mulled an annulled culls.
Don’t need no OED to check out the newspeak

Word boardin word boardin long haul and short haul
with lost romantics for semantics whisperin
in trade winds with tweets pinned to
women on pavements and grave men in governments
doin jargon far gone and arrogant in cant on
weapons massed for distraction an distortion.
Don’t need no OED to check out the newspeak

 

 

Peter Raynard’s poems have appeared in a number of publications including Prole, The Rialto, Under the Radar, South Bank Poetry, Ink Sweat & Tears and The Interpreter’s House. His debut collection is forthcoming from Smokestack Books in 2018. He is a member of Malika’s Poetry Kitchen and editor of Proletarian Poetry: poems of working class lives  (see www.proletarianpoetry.com).

 

Andy Piasecki is a French to English translator living in South West France. Prior to moving to France he worked in the UK as a theatre director, freelance journalist for the BBC and university lecturer, at Royal Holloway, University of London, and later at Queen Margaret University, Edinburgh.

John Quinn was formerly a schoolteacher based in Dundee. His poems have appeared in Poetry Scotland, Northwords Now, Southlight South Bank and Seagate III.