NEU! Boots Supplementary (3): Neu! Year, Neu! Boots – Simon Barraclough

The President-Electorcist

There’s a demon in Iraq watching over this,
grief-wanking with a rosary,
staring down the Sun through a Twitterstorm
of locust dust, tonguing its teatime meds
into a suppurating jowl,
dabbing a bile-green contact
onto the eye of God’s cataract.

Your captain, o your captain grabs pussies in Hell!
But that’s just swell because Hell has so much potential,
tremendous potential. It’s gonna be beautiful
and the sinners are gonna pay for it
with alms pincered from your bleeding hearts,
squirming gobbets of rancid penitence
spat onto the hissing plancha of panicky
platitudes, but I digress . . .

Wake up, wake up! In your levitating beds,
twist your neck bones round to sniff the sphincter of history
that squeezed out this latest foul clinker,
this pitiful orange nugget of nugatory, fibreless filth.
Stool pigeons pecking at your own vomit,
clawing at the golden pavement with bubble-gum-docked stumps,
you chumps.

You know what he made me do, your cunting candidate?
It’s time to claw help me
from inside the flabby torso of protest,
it’s time to stab a crucifix into the crotch of the Establishment.
The power of Christ compels you!
The power of Christ compels you!
The power of Christ compels you!

It’s okay, I didn’t really mean it,
I’ll melt a wafer of compromise on my cankers,
take a sip from the chalice of normalization,
pray for forgiveness, begin the year anew,
give myself a chance, a fair crack of the whip.
This makes me smart and you my bitch.

—With this I exchange the sign of peace with William Peter Blatty



Simon Barraclough is a poet, writer and editor living in London. His latest books are Sunspots (Penned in the Margins 2015) and, as editor, Laboratorio (Sidekick Books 2015). He was poet in residence at the Mullard Space Science Laboratory in 2014.

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