DAY NINETY-FOUR – Andrea Porter

On Thinking about Five Years of Conservative Government

(Found Poem from an article entitled ‘How to Stop Thinking Too Much’)


Accept that you’re thinking about it too much.
There are several red flags.
Are you not making progress by thinking?
Have you examined it from a million angles?
Have you enlisted the help of your twenty closest friends in thinking about it?
You can only ask for so many opinions about it before you drive yourself insane.
Do people tease you for brooding on it , being a philosopher,
or staring out of rainy windows all the time?
If so, they may have a point.
Imagine that thinking is like breathing.
You do it all the time, without even realising it.
If you need to, you can hold your breath.
Participate in something particularly active,
power yoga, or beach volleyball.
Go hiking.
Swim, it is hard to swim and think.
Say your ideas out loud.
You can say them aloud to your cat.
If you’re hanging out with a friend, you’re not just thinking.
Once you can’t think of anything more to write
your mind has done its job, and it’s time to stop thinking.
Set a thinking time aside,
tell yourself, “I’ll worry about it at 5 pm.”
Instead of thinking, thinking, thinking,
take action! What’s the worst that can happen?
Play with an animal.
Use the Mantra “It’s over and I didn’t get my way. I will survive.”
Stop reading this.
Relax be proud to be a thinker.
Take a nice hot bubble bath.
Don’t dwell on the past.
Use your thoughts only for good,
it will make you a better person.
Just keep in mind that you’re not alone, everyone thinks.



Andrea Porter has had two pamphlets published and a full collection by Salt. The pamphlet Bubble was adapted by the dramatist Fraser Grace for BBC Radio 4. Her collaboration, House of the Deaf Man with the artist Tom Dr Freston about the ‘Black Paintings’ by Goya was published by Gatehouse Press. 


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