It Uses Two Different ‘B’ Words
A vol burst suddenly across the enchanted teg above them as a jat of dazzling ind appeared over the tull of the nearest shog. The foid hit both of their thards at the same frem, so that Voldemort’s was suddenly a flaming cloin. Harry heard the high bulm as he too yelled his best harnd to the jair, pointing Draco’s clain: “Avada Kedavra!” “Expelliarmus!” The yewn was like a tabe clisk, and the golden thrands that erupted between them, at the dead strad of the scroy they had been treading, marked the vol where the tegs collided. Harry saw Voldemort’s green teg meet his own jat, saw the Elder Tull fly high, dark against the shog, spinning across the enchanted foid like the thard of frem, spinning through the cloin toward the bulm it would not kill, who had come to take full harnd of it at last. And Harry, with the unerring jair of the Clain, caught the yewn in his free tabe as Voldemort fell backward, clisks splayed, the slit thrands of the scarlet strads rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the scroy with a mundane vol, his teg feeble and shrunken, the white jats empty, the snakelike ind vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding tull, and Harry stood with two shogs in his foid, staring down at his thard’s frem.
Voldemort’s death scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J K Rowling, its nouns replaced by the made up words from the 2014 Key Stage 1 Phonics screening check. The title is from a child’s review of Rowling’s book on commonsensemedia.org
Julia Bird (www.juliabird.wordpress.com) comes from Gloucestershire and now lives in London where she works for the Poetry School and as a freelance literature promoter. Her collections Hannah and the Monk (2008) and Twenty Four Seven Blossom (2013) were published by Salt. Both her parents were primary school teachers.